From Kara Oh

Kara Oh is the author of Men Made Easy, Everlasting Love, and Women Made Easy and the founder of the Aunt Kara's School of Charm, Seduction and Feminine Grace: A Course In the Joys of Womanly Ways

What a Man Should Watch Out For When Selecting a Mate

Do You Know Anyone Who Fits Any Of These Descriptions?

In Women Made Easy, the book I wrote to help men with their relationship delimmas, I describe the kind of women that they should avoid. You might find this list interesting, just in case you or a friend might occasionally slide into behavior that scares men off. Any of the items below that would describe a man, you should avoid them because this advice goes both ways.

1. Avoid any woman who is financially irresponsible. You will end up in a mess. Not making much money is not the same as having poor money management skills. You don't need that kind of grief.

2. Avoid any woman who is angry at men. This is not immediately obvious so you need to dig a bit. If she starts talking about past relationships and begins to get angry, she could end up taking it out on you.

Ask her how she thinks the feminist movement has harmed men and women's ability to create loving, respectful relationships. If she hasn't thought about it, the direction you want to explore is if she thinks it feels good to have a man be her hero, and if she enjoys a man who wants to be the man so she can better enjoy being a woman.

3. Avoid any woman who blames others for what's going on in her life. She'll end up blaming you and won't ever take responsibility for her part of the dance. And it does take two to do the relationship dance.

4. Avoid spoiled women. You can tell by what they expect and how appreciative they are with what others give them and do for them. Spoiled women are like a bottomless pit.

5. If she ever, even once, says something to put you down you are in for some very big trouble. She is an emasculator and she'll cut away at your masculinity.

6. Avoid women who are inconsistent. You don't want to be blindsided by irratic behavior.

7. Avoid women who are emotionally wacky. Women can be emotional but if they are out of control be very, very careful. She can surprise you in some pretty scary ways.

8. Avoid women who are generally unhappy. You want a woman who is happy or you will have to work too hard and will get worn out. This type of woman is too much work and she will never be happy, no matter how much you do for her.

9. Avoid women who have no close friends. She will expect you to be everything for her, which is too much for any man to take on. And there is something intrinsically wrong with a women who has no close friends. She is not emotionally healthy.

10. Avoid women who are easily bored. A women who gets bored does not have enough interests and is not good at finding her own activities. A bored person is boring and not very interesting.

Notice if you have been drawn to these kind of women. Often, men enjoy rescuing women, then wonder why they get worn out and beaten down. If you want a healthy, happy woman, you must expect the same of yourself.

In the beginning of a relationship, everyone is putting their best foot forward. Unfortunately, women can be very good at acting whatever part is required to snag a man. That is one reason you should wait at least a year, probably two, before marriage. In that period of time you will begin to see inconsistencies if she is putting on an act.

Pay attention to how your friends and family feel about her. If they don't like her, that should be a big red flag. They can be much more objective than you can because they are not emotionally invested and they haven't been having sex with her. I married someone my grown son did not like. After we were divorced I asked myself why on earth I would ever want to be with someone my children did not like.

I think you are getting the general idea. Don't get blinded by a woman just because she's attractive or good in bed. If you're looking for a healthy, solid, long-term relationship, you want someone who is basically sound. You'd do no less if you were purchasing a used car.

Choose someone who makes you feel good, someone who makes you feel like a better person because you are with her. It may take a little longer to find her, but it will be well worth the wait.
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Comments welcome.
To purchase Men Made Easy, click here.

Wishing you healthy relationships,
Owen
coach@man2woman.net